If You’re Eating These Things, Your Sex Life is Suffering

To you, the word diet means downgrading from the super size option to a large. A slice of pizza serves as your food pyramid. You double-fist soda and your heartbeat picks up at the faint sound of suya sizzling in the distance.

You are a man, and you are a carnivore. Burgers for breakfast and all-sugar-everything for breakfast; the word diet is just death with a typo at the end. Who dares to tell you to say no to food? Uh, we do. And, after reading this, your girlfriend (and anyone that might find their way into your bed) might chime in, too.

Eating whatever you want is a luxury reserved for adolescents, not for the sexually active twentysomething. We found 25 foods that are demolishing your sex drive that might make you contemplate an overhaul of your diet. Prep accordingly.



If pasta with canned tomato sauce is the only date night meal you’ve learned to cook, it’s time to switch it up. AYomatoes can lead to lower levels of testosterone.

Corn Flakes


John Harvey Kellogg, the gloriously bearded cereal guru, was anti sex/masturbation/your private parts doing anything fun, so he created Corn Flakes. He thought the bland and sugarless taste would repress people’s nasty urges for a post-breakfast bang. There is a serious lack of solid evidence of whether Kellogg was successful, but considering that Corn Flakes are largely consumed by teething babies and toothless eldery folks, he may have gotten his wish.

Microwave Popcorn


Microwave popcorn bags contain something called perfluorooctanoic acid (PFOAs) which is a really long name for a chemical that kills your sex drive, is bad for your prostate, and increases your chances of testicular cancer.



Researchers at Michigan State University found that harmful industrial waste chemicals can be absorbed into dairy, meat, and fish. Their research also showed a conncection between these harmful chemicals and lowered libidos in women. Point your lady towards this list of safe fish here.



Doctors claim that oatmeal seems like it’s good for libido due to its stress-lowering properties, but in actuality, the same chemical that lowers stress also lowers libido. If you planned on eating oatmeal and were also hoping for morning sex, perhaps you should opt for a bowl of cereal instead.

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Can't remember who i stole this bio from or why

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